Day 10 – SPIRITUAL SMOKE

During this lifetime, how many times have we had some very difficult times, and when someone asks how we are doing, we tell them and they say… “Just trust in god, and keep the FAITH, he will make everything work out!” Then you see them a little while later in the year or whatever, and they ask if everything is working out. Then we tell them “No, it is not working out for me…”, and suddenly they have to go meet someone or they are late to a meeting or the store, or whatever. The fact is that if god had allowed us to suffer hardship for a significant amount of time, what would make god suddenly have compassion for us now? Where was god during the holocaust, or ww1, or the Tuskegee Experiment, ww2, Vietnam, 911, the tsunami in the far pacific, or Katrina, or Sandy which I experience myself, or when Trayvon Martin was killed, or Mr Ki-Suck Han when after being pushed off a subway platform, was killed by a train while people watched?

Questions arise more and more about the state of the world and this invisible deity called “GOD” (by many other names as well), but no real answers! Two- thousand years and climbing… the same shit that was going on then is going on now. The truth is that god is never around when tragedy hits! When will humanity realize the suffering in this world is completely caused by people, and can be ended by people. Is it going to take everyone on the planet to be in total misery until we wake up and realize WE are the ones responsible for the condition of the earth and stand up in our misery to change self and take responsibility. I have heard many people say including myself, that if I had the money and power, I would change the way people live for the better. Well the ones that have the money and power refuse to do shit, except continue trying to get more money and use the working class to get it.

Every week people line the seats of synagogues, mosque, churches, cathedrals, etc., and it amounts to nothing when the same things happen week after week. God has never ended murder, he has never ended starvation, rape, kidnapping, genocide, poverty, enslavement, abuse, brutality, etc. What the fuck is god’s purpose if he can’t do shit about the place he is believed to have created? If anyone believes that a god is going to save them from this world or after death, you are FUCKED! If we as humanity continue in the direction we are going, we are all FUCKED! SHEEPLE! The iGod… as real as the fruit on a Mac computer! Pray that you escape the coming tragedies that we have created… Hope for the best… Have faith in your god… And when he fails you, I expect the phone lines to be overloaded on 12/22/2012… I can’t wait…

Day 7 – HOW MANY REALITIES

Whenever we have a chance to sit and consider what is going on in our surroundings and within ourselves, if we look honestly, we will see the inconsistencies and fluctuations in our life experience. I understand things change all the time but from the perspective of my experience of myself is what I am referring to. Of all the thoughts and memories that float in our heads daily, which ones do we grab and get personal with? Am I realizing when I pick out a thought to run with it? Do I know how many times a day that I do this shit? I can be so deep into a self created fantasy or backchat that I lose myself in it before I realize I am lost in my mind. How many realities have I created in the space of time that I existed completely within the mind. To become aware of when and what we create would assist us to understand how the mind works. Once we are aware of how the mind works, we can direct ourselves within the principle of “Do unto others as you would have done to you”, which would become what is best for all.

What is amazing, is that with every plan, every plot, every war, every crusade, every pilgrimage, every retreat, we have only created dimensional shifts and have not changed this physical reality into a place where all have dignity, and live without fear. What on this planet is it going to take for humanity to look at itself and see where we are headed and take responsibility for it! If our gods and sages and gurus have not been able to stop the atrocities over eons of time, who would think they could suddenly do it now! What level of calamity and death and destruction and disease have to arrive to get the attention of those that have the power and resources to change the world. How many realities will be created in our minds before we realize the only relevant reality is being destroyed. Humankind is like a suicidal maniac wanting to prove that he can blow him/herself into many pieces.

Day 6 – Human Reactor

Today was a calm day, cool but sunny, and after reading blogs etc. My fiance and I went for a brief walk to hang out in the sun a little bit to balance being in and out. We sat at a park near City College, then slowly made our way back home. As I rested, my fiance was using the computer, when she suddenly went out into hallway for a second, then came back in yelling to me call the Fire Dept… I did so and as I am speaking to 911, my fiance heads out to stairs while I put on jeans and sandals and head out. The smoke on floors 4, 3, and 2 was so thick, visibility and oxygen was zero at one point, and I notice a blaze coming through the trash chute on 1st fl. I was barely able to talk on phone with 911, until finally getting out the building. As we stand outside with other people and at least 3 ladder engines, they went inside to tame the blaze.

People in the bldg talk about a guy on 6th fl who traffics drugs and suspected one of his clients put something in the trash chute. Now I am becoming quite furious and reacting with anger that I was willing to go to this person and physically make him want to quit dealing myself. I see kids that were inside and women on fire escapes with their kids, and wonder if it was done purposely or accident, but I knew it could have been a lot more serious.

Tragedy affects any and everyone at times but the question is “Who am I within the tragedy?”

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize/understand that life is not guaranteed within this current system where money is the external manifestation of the internal interest of the mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize/understand that because I am here, I am a part of all that exist, the good and bad within this accepted system of polarity that I participate in.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge the guy above us, when I also participate in separation from the physical as only an energetic experience called a personality, also disregarding life as I look to support only my own self interest through my survival.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that my internal instinct to survive is based in keeping consciousness as myself alive to continue to use up the physical to sustain itself infinitely.

I commit myself to understand who I am as consciousness within this system, and realize how I create the system constantly within my participation in the mind.

I commit myself to realize that good or bad people are only my perspective based on my own pre-programmed set of rules within a system of polarity that does not in fact support life as equal and one.

I commit myself to realize and understand that my instinct to survive is a desire of the mind as me to continue my existence as a personality and no actually interest in supporting life as what is best for all in the physical.

Day 2: Secret Agent: Golden Mask Chronicles

Am I supporting a new system that is best for all? What does my day to day life participation consist of? If I am going about my life each day doing what I do, and do not consider what effect I am having in my world of meeting people, interacting with people, and my own interaction with my physical body, as a point of support, what am I actually contributing to? Even as politicians present a colorful template of goals that if these goals were achieved would make living a bit easier for most, but it is only a presentation and not actually being done, and as I and others present ourselves to the world, how much color and bling am I presenting when I know I am not living one with it. This is what I call delusion, and it is not just fanatics who are in delusion, sometimes we allow ourselves to just ignore things that need our attention and to be corrected. Pretense, ignoring, avoiding, are all attributes that we create based on once again “Fear”. The fear of getting to know self and who self has allowed self to become and why self does not want to change. Fear of who we would be if we were to let go of ego! Fear that we can no longer blame god for our own fuckups. We are agent Smith, the rogue program that wants to expand itself to engulf everything to no end. Why am I avoiding the real issues of myself? I am allowing “Fear” to be my salvation. Where is common sense in this?

The Time Machine

This is not the renown book of HG Wells, nor any tv series. It is the Memory based Time Machine of the mind… I have found all energetic reactions within myself to be based on memories or maybe sub or unconscious memories. Our thoughts are based on memory so our future will mirror our past if the line is not drawn here! Being free of the mind to me is out of perspective because who I am now is created by the mind construct so it is impossible to get free of the mind, but creating a new self/me from within the mind which is based on the equality principle of what is best for all, that will eventually become equal to the mind and I could then shut it down because I built a new self not based on the mind, but the equality principle! So if I am being directed by memories of any kind, I am still in the mind! If I can remove the Ti (tie) from Me, then Time (Ti-Me) would become just Me!