Day 11 – DARKNESS TO LIGHT

Have you ever heard someone say “If you only knew what I was thinking…”Many of us are quick to say that we don’t know what another is thinking and later or even in the same breath, we sum up a persons whole life based on one point that we engaged in with them. Most people have a dying need to be right, as right only exists in our created bubble of existence inside our minds, that we give life to as if it was a physical glass of water that when we drink it, we are refreshed and hydrated.

The same goes with all of our creations as well. Now playing across America and the world are seemingly random murders by shooting or stabbing etc., and everyone is pretending to be caring individuals based on who dies in a specific tragedy. What is amazing and fucked up simultaneously, is that people claim that they don’t understand what is going on and how people can do such evil crimes. What we see and hate so much is the reflection of ourselves and the projected anger towards these “EVIL” people because we know we never stood up to investigate the policies in our own countries that we knew were only in place to feed the wealth of the rich while taking from the masses. The USA has implemented many policies and laws that support abuse of certain people such as slavery, banking, credit, interest rates, women not allowed to vote, imminent domain, and the list goes on. We have always had complaints but because we are a “FREE” country, we accepted these policies as the norm and as long as we were comfortable and had a little money, fuck everyone else who got the shit deals of the system.  When we allow ourselves to participate in a system that does not support everyone equally, we are not understanding that what is allowed to harm one, is allowed to harm all including self. These atrocities that we are facing is the result of all of us allowing this system to exist and closing our eyes to it to not see, and turning our heads and covering our ears to not hear, and moving to the quietest places we could find to not have to engage what we know is fucked up in hope that it will disappear from our personal reality and world. Everything we have tried to avoid, ignore, sweep away, condemn, judge, and what we “FEAR” is quickly making haste to visit us! We will either all eventually enjoy a system that supports every living thing equally, or we will all eventually despise a system that we all suffer within.

12/21/2012???? What the fuck about it? Does it mark the date when humanity will wake the fuck up and stop the bullshit with how we treat each other, to creating a new world where all have the freedom to live and express life equally without “FEAR”?… Or does it mark the date when humanity has crossed the point of no return to only plunge to the utter depths of insanity, hate, fear, and abuse? We choose!

Day 10 – SPIRITUAL SMOKE

During this lifetime, how many times have we had some very difficult times, and when someone asks how we are doing, we tell them and they say… “Just trust in god, and keep the FAITH, he will make everything work out!” Then you see them a little while later in the year or whatever, and they ask if everything is working out. Then we tell them “No, it is not working out for me…”, and suddenly they have to go meet someone or they are late to a meeting or the store, or whatever. The fact is that if god had allowed us to suffer hardship for a significant amount of time, what would make god suddenly have compassion for us now? Where was god during the holocaust, or ww1, or the Tuskegee Experiment, ww2, Vietnam, 911, the tsunami in the far pacific, or Katrina, or Sandy which I experience myself, or when Trayvon Martin was killed, or Mr Ki-Suck Han when after being pushed off a subway platform, was killed by a train while people watched?

Questions arise more and more about the state of the world and this invisible deity called “GOD” (by many other names as well), but no real answers! Two- thousand years and climbing… the same shit that was going on then is going on now. The truth is that god is never around when tragedy hits! When will humanity realize the suffering in this world is completely caused by people, and can be ended by people. Is it going to take everyone on the planet to be in total misery until we wake up and realize WE are the ones responsible for the condition of the earth and stand up in our misery to change self and take responsibility. I have heard many people say including myself, that if I had the money and power, I would change the way people live for the better. Well the ones that have the money and power refuse to do shit, except continue trying to get more money and use the working class to get it.

Every week people line the seats of synagogues, mosque, churches, cathedrals, etc., and it amounts to nothing when the same things happen week after week. God has never ended murder, he has never ended starvation, rape, kidnapping, genocide, poverty, enslavement, abuse, brutality, etc. What the fuck is god’s purpose if he can’t do shit about the place he is believed to have created? If anyone believes that a god is going to save them from this world or after death, you are FUCKED! If we as humanity continue in the direction we are going, we are all FUCKED! SHEEPLE! The iGod… as real as the fruit on a Mac computer! Pray that you escape the coming tragedies that we have created… Hope for the best… Have faith in your god… And when he fails you, I expect the phone lines to be overloaded on 12/22/2012… I can’t wait…

Day 8 – Backchat Imaginary Friend

Day 8 – Backchat Imaginary Friend

Whatever I am faced with in my world, I always have this friend who is willing to give me advice, counseling, and knows every fucking reason for whatever is happening at the moment. Most of the time I don’t even ask for any advice or suggestions but I always seem to get it anyway. This friend is not really a friend because I can’t seem to direct myself within common sense without this friend giving me scenarios and what-ifs etc., and there is this sidekick that is always hanging around this so called friend, I asked what’s the name? FEAR it said!

Now I cannot say I have a friend here, as the advice is always related to this fucking sidekick, so it seems Mr FEAR is the one that’s really calling the shots. So now we have to have a meeting and the moderators I invited are “Common Sense”, “Breath”, and the principal “What Is Best For All”. So I am in a room with my moderators and “Backchat”, who never shuts up even when told, and “Mr FEAR” who actually never says much but hangs in the background. With Common Sense, Breath, and WIBFA, I am confident I can eventually handle and direct these guys.

Backchat is always present as voices in the head, and we usually think, these voices are generated by us, but we can’t control or stop them so they are generated by something else. Investigating the source of these voices can assist us in realizing what is the nature of our mind and our participation within it as how we created ourselves as just a mind or personality.

Day 4 – I Shalt Not Desire

If I can only remember that the Lord is my shepherd, and I shall not Want Desire, (I shall have no needs and be completely fulfilled.) Anyone with common sense will realize how much shit is packed into this statement. Well I crossed it out and made it a relevant statement. My desire is really not my desire but the desire of the system within and as me… of course it feels like it is me but the energetic charge comes and goes, and I am still here. I have a problem, because I don’t determine when or where this charge will show up. I could be sitting on the stoop in front of my house or walking down the street, or sitting at my desktop pc in my chair. Wherever I am I should be HERE, but thanks to my astral traveling abilities, I can travel into the past, future, or some other dimension that I myself created with my creative powers.

Unfortunately, none of this is real, only me as my physical body, so any experience of myself that is not right here physically as what I am doing, is my own mind fuck. My desire to do, be, or have, anything is produced energetically within separation, and keeps me in separation of myself, as time loops recreating the same experiences over and over again. I see desire that is not faced and no responsibility taken for self becomes an addiction.

Then as addiction grows, I am now directed completely by my own creation and subject to the flow of energy that rise and fall on its own time.

Day 3 – WHO AM I?

Tomorrow is not here yet and yesterday doesn’t exist. This moment here exist and I am here, but am I HERE? My question to myself, a simple one but a most important question, and even more important is my self honest answer to myself. What is my experience of myself right now, am I aware of what I think, feel, speak, how I react? These are questions that if I ask myself daily, I may learn who I am in this world and I will see it through my awareness of how I live and correspond to other people, things, animals, nature. The real question is who am I as “FEAR”? I exist as a liquified manifestation of “FEAR” layered with each layer being the basis of the layer above it. This is my equation of myself: if I am as all as one as equal here, then as I understand who I am, I will understand who everyone is and the reason for the conditions of the world which are all man-made, and can only be corrected by man. No god can do it, and it will not just work it’s way out. Any belief in any type of deity will guarantee that no responsibility for this earth or the inhabitants will be undertaken by man.

Day 2: Secret Agent: Golden Mask Chronicles

Am I supporting a new system that is best for all? What does my day to day life participation consist of? If I am going about my life each day doing what I do, and do not consider what effect I am having in my world of meeting people, interacting with people, and my own interaction with my physical body, as a point of support, what am I actually contributing to? Even as politicians present a colorful template of goals that if these goals were achieved would make living a bit easier for most, but it is only a presentation and not actually being done, and as I and others present ourselves to the world, how much color and bling am I presenting when I know I am not living one with it. This is what I call delusion, and it is not just fanatics who are in delusion, sometimes we allow ourselves to just ignore things that need our attention and to be corrected. Pretense, ignoring, avoiding, are all attributes that we create based on once again “Fear”. The fear of getting to know self and who self has allowed self to become and why self does not want to change. Fear of who we would be if we were to let go of ego! Fear that we can no longer blame god for our own fuckups. We are agent Smith, the rogue program that wants to expand itself to engulf everything to no end. Why am I avoiding the real issues of myself? I am allowing “Fear” to be my salvation. Where is common sense in this?

JUSTIFICATION = SABATOGE = FEAR – Day 1

At first when I saw the blogs on the Journey to Life being posted, I considered it is part of an assignment that I have not reached in DIP… When I learned that it was not part of an assignment, I didn’t understand exactly the context of what it is that everyone is writing about whether a daily blog or writing specific scenarios etc. The real point is, I did not participate out of fear, and made excuses within myself that I don’t have time, and there is a lot going on in my life, my back hurts, I’ll do it one day, and the list goes on! Well today through support from Maya, I begin my journey to life, in order to walk out of the suicidal fear based constructs I hold on to that is like holding TNT just waiting for it to go off in my hands. Everything decision I have made in my life have likely been fear based, and every time I did not act on what I knew was best for all in that instant, was because of my allowance of fear to be the directive point instead of me myself. I realize that regardless of what I write or say, that if I am not working toward becoming equal with my words, it has no impact and I will not change. So today I am making a statement that I will work towards bringing everything in my life to a point of equality as what I understand is best for all, and realizing that it is not just me as myself but me as all beings here.

Living in the United States, we learn how nothing is UNITED and we exist in a STATE of separation that people in other countries just shake their heads. Everything here is compromised and what I see in this country is also what I see in myself. As money determines one’s status here, I am within myself doing the same thing, “no money = insignificant” and this is one of my justifications, and feeling bad about myself and judging myself… all in all just fucking with myself to not take responsibility for me, but blame my circumstances and the cards I’m holding for my experience in life.