Day 8 – Backchat Imaginary Friend

Day 8 – Backchat Imaginary Friend

Whatever I am faced with in my world, I always have this friend who is willing to give me advice, counseling, and knows every fucking reason for whatever is happening at the moment. Most of the time I don’t even ask for any advice or suggestions but I always seem to get it anyway. This friend is not really a friend because I can’t seem to direct myself within common sense without this friend giving me scenarios and what-ifs etc., and there is this sidekick that is always hanging around this so called friend, I asked what’s the name? FEAR it said!

Now I cannot say I have a friend here, as the advice is always related to this fucking sidekick, so it seems Mr FEAR is the one that’s really calling the shots. So now we have to have a meeting and the moderators I invited are “Common Sense”, “Breath”, and the principal “What Is Best For All”. So I am in a room with my moderators and “Backchat”, who never shuts up even when told, and “Mr FEAR” who actually never says much but hangs in the background. With Common Sense, Breath, and WIBFA, I am confident I can eventually handle and direct these guys.

Backchat is always present as voices in the head, and we usually think, these voices are generated by us, but we can’t control or stop them so they are generated by something else. Investigating the source of these voices can assist us in realizing what is the nature of our mind and our participation within it as how we created ourselves as just a mind or personality.

Day 7 – HOW MANY REALITIES

Whenever we have a chance to sit and consider what is going on in our surroundings and within ourselves, if we look honestly, we will see the inconsistencies and fluctuations in our life experience. I understand things change all the time but from the perspective of my experience of myself is what I am referring to. Of all the thoughts and memories that float in our heads daily, which ones do we grab and get personal with? Am I realizing when I pick out a thought to run with it? Do I know how many times a day that I do this shit? I can be so deep into a self created fantasy or backchat that I lose myself in it before I realize I am lost in my mind. How many realities have I created in the space of time that I existed completely within the mind. To become aware of when and what we create would assist us to understand how the mind works. Once we are aware of how the mind works, we can direct ourselves within the principle of “Do unto others as you would have done to you”, which would become what is best for all.

What is amazing, is that with every plan, every plot, every war, every crusade, every pilgrimage, every retreat, we have only created dimensional shifts and have not changed this physical reality into a place where all have dignity, and live without fear. What on this planet is it going to take for humanity to look at itself and see where we are headed and take responsibility for it! If our gods and sages and gurus have not been able to stop the atrocities over eons of time, who would think they could suddenly do it now! What level of calamity and death and destruction and disease have to arrive to get the attention of those that have the power and resources to change the world. How many realities will be created in our minds before we realize the only relevant reality is being destroyed. Humankind is like a suicidal maniac wanting to prove that he can blow him/herself into many pieces.

Day 6 – Human Reactor

Today was a calm day, cool but sunny, and after reading blogs etc. My fiance and I went for a brief walk to hang out in the sun a little bit to balance being in and out. We sat at a park near City College, then slowly made our way back home. As I rested, my fiance was using the computer, when she suddenly went out into hallway for a second, then came back in yelling to me call the Fire Dept… I did so and as I am speaking to 911, my fiance heads out to stairs while I put on jeans and sandals and head out. The smoke on floors 4, 3, and 2 was so thick, visibility and oxygen was zero at one point, and I notice a blaze coming through the trash chute on 1st fl. I was barely able to talk on phone with 911, until finally getting out the building. As we stand outside with other people and at least 3 ladder engines, they went inside to tame the blaze.

People in the bldg talk about a guy on 6th fl who traffics drugs and suspected one of his clients put something in the trash chute. Now I am becoming quite furious and reacting with anger that I was willing to go to this person and physically make him want to quit dealing myself. I see kids that were inside and women on fire escapes with their kids, and wonder if it was done purposely or accident, but I knew it could have been a lot more serious.

Tragedy affects any and everyone at times but the question is “Who am I within the tragedy?”

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize/understand that life is not guaranteed within this current system where money is the external manifestation of the internal interest of the mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize/understand that because I am here, I am a part of all that exist, the good and bad within this accepted system of polarity that I participate in.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge the guy above us, when I also participate in separation from the physical as only an energetic experience called a personality, also disregarding life as I look to support only my own self interest through my survival.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that my internal instinct to survive is based in keeping consciousness as myself alive to continue to use up the physical to sustain itself infinitely.

I commit myself to understand who I am as consciousness within this system, and realize how I create the system constantly within my participation in the mind.

I commit myself to realize that good or bad people are only my perspective based on my own pre-programmed set of rules within a system of polarity that does not in fact support life as equal and one.

I commit myself to realize and understand that my instinct to survive is a desire of the mind as me to continue my existence as a personality and no actually interest in supporting life as what is best for all in the physical.

Day 5 – My Physical Body

After relocating back to New York, we experienced challenges with our living arrangements, friends, and life in general. One week and a storm arrives, and the result is extensive damage, and loss for many here and in the tri-state area. We did not experience any outages or flooding, only high winds. As for myself, I now face a minor surgical procedure to be able to function to a level to support myself together with my fiance (an RN), as we look for work and get settled in our own place. The city is in a state of emergency and is going to take a while to resolve the issues of displacement, health, and the new comers to poverty. I am not sure what my physical body is telling me but it seems to have to do with self support. Many years I have over worked my physical body with stressful jobs, including military, and driving across the U.S., and I would say that this stress have only contributed to a part of my physical condition, but I am sure that my participation within and as the MIND is the major cause. I ask myself “Who am I within all that is happening?” I have had some fear about living arrangements but I never stopped searching and physically working at getting settled. I realize that most of what we experience as humans is created based on how we live and treat each other. This storm is not evil, but it shows man how man have designed society based on self interest and money distribution, which promotes poverty and abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist within a self-created bubble of thoughts, fears, emotions, feelings, that only contribute to sustaining the mind as personalities which does not support the physical as life.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to through my existence within this self-created bubble, to believe that my experience as thoughts, fear, emotions, feelings, are real and need my participation.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my participation withing the mind, as thoughts, fears, memories, emotions, feelings, do not support me within and as the physical to live here practically in ways that support what is best for all one and equal.

 

I commit myself to work at living here within an as my physical body as within the purpose of finding ways to support myself to live as what is best for all as me.

I commit myself to stop my participation within and as thoughts, fears, emotions, feelings, memories, through focusing on myself as the physical breath as I go about my day.

I commit myself to become aware of my body and mind, so I will understand when I am in the mind creating personalities and dimensions, and be able to stop myself and bring myself back to the realization of self withing the physical.