What makes us tick? Is it a hidden ticker that prompts us to do everything we participate in? Is there some higher power that moves us according to unknown, unseen mysterious, purpose and secret planning? This is the reality for some as they completely accept who they are and their experience as some divine lesson that must be learned through hardship and loss!
I have participated in these things and still do, but I am aware that something has to change and that who I am in this world is where I have started. There is a power in us that runs shit and only because we gave it power over us and it is at the core of every action we take this is not self directed within the principle of what is best for all of us. FEAR is the king of humanity, love is just a symptom of fear… I can feel this fear is the strangest scenarios, even ones that I never really felt fear before! I know fear is expanding inside of me slightly, but I know I have to face it when it becomes so great that I may consider hiding from it! One of my greatest experiences this far was finding a friend of mine dead hanging from her loft, after killing herself… I went and stood where she died everyday for weeks until my fear was not enough to make my heart beat out of my chest… Desteni and these tools help me face my fear and get past that experience in 2009, it was basically one year after my first written self-forgiveness entry 8/26/2008. I see that I will be getting to know mr. FEAR much more personal as I continue in my process!