A question to ask is not why, but how… How did I get here, as who I am? I am as the allowed manifestation of the mind as self. How did I as a being become nothing more than an energetic symbol of a programmed construct? I am questioning my own allowed existence, like “How did I create myself to be nothing?”… How did I begin? I notice that what I see with my eyes is actually three dimensional shapes and symbols, some of which I have conscious reactions to and others, unconscious reactions. Take a woman for example… Long curvy legs, perky breasts, rounded butt, curved hips etc. These are all shapes which are compiled from symbols interpreted by me through my own eyes. It seems that everything is just symbols that I react to and I realize I don’t have any control over what I like or don’t like that I see. In a world where everyone is reacting to different symbols, it becomes a network of friction as everyone is focused only on what they see and like! I am missing what is really here. How does a certain car capture my interest? Shapes, lines, curves, just like a woman, so it is quite extensive how much of my everyday life is based on illusion of my own eyes. What I see are images and symbols and not the real reality! I am HERE but I haven’t realized myself here because I still have thoughts, emotions, & feelings, & memories!