From the early am to late pm, there is business… phone calls, text messages, questions, dialogue! I find myself getting pissed off sometimes when I get so many calls and texts and people wanting me for something! The few times I get a chance to go walk the beach or around the parks, I turn my phone off or leave it in my girlfriends car! And when I get back to my phone its several messages, voice & text, and usually something important or someone has a near emergency! I realize that many of the tenants take no responsibility for themselves but call me for every little issue they have, and to the point I have little time to focus on what I must do. I realize at this point that it seems this way because I don’t structure my day in a way that works for me but actually waste a lot of time not using my time efficiently! I am allowing myself to stand at the brink of being “overwhelmed”, and “not giving a fuck.” Sometimes people want to have conversations that are just bullshit because that’s what we as humans do, we allow our egos to shit out the mouth. I will realize after hours have gone by that I was lost in my mind and its like I was sleeping even though I was doing lots of shit throughout the day. I have no internet on my phone and by my own decision as I will not allow myself to be engulfed with watching my phone every 2 seconds to see what has been said or what someone is doing right now! I do not get compensated much for all this responsibility that takes most of my time and I have allowed it to happen. The beach is a nice place to do self forgiveness and introspection as you watch the waves and walk on the wet sand etc. I am seeing more and more young tenants, mainly art students, with mental issues, unstable, drug usage, all because we have created a world where our thoughts, feelings, emotions, remove us from “HERE” suppressing who we are as life! The mind is wrecking havoc these days and as the mind sends us down a Fibonacci spiral to death, we give ourselves over to the mind to do what the mind does best… “DISTRACT us from reality!” If we are distracted, then we will not see ourselves as who we are, so we would take little or no responsibility for ourselves in this world to stop our minds that we emerge as who we are as life!


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