Everyday someone walks by us, or is seen by us, who does something that we react to. Whether these people are drinking, or smoking weed, or stealing or driving reckless, etc. We have some sort of reaction of judgment. It is automatic because of our packaged belief system and self definitions. I wrote down a few things that I realize I judge people on and the list got longer and longer, and I realized there are many intricate details of the construct of judgment. Much of it is connected to what I see which is not what is there but the minds interpretation of it. I also realize that my own self definitions are layered and who I am in this reality, is who I have created myself to be through separation. So my take is that judgment comes from belief systems containing comparison, competition, self definition, separation, spite is somewhere in the beginning of this… I feel like a human baklava crust with all the layers of separation, when I am actually here, but my experience of myself is not Here but somewhere else. The toughest task in life is not what we build, but what we take apart… the layers of the mind!
From the early am to late pm, there is business… phone calls, text messages, questions, dialogue! I find myself getting pissed off sometimes when I get so many calls and texts and people wanting me for something! The few times I get a chance to go walk the beach or around the parks, I turn my phone off or leave it in my girlfriends car! And when I get back to my phone its several messages, voice & text, and usually something important or someone has a near emergency! I realize that many of the tenants take no responsibility for themselves but call me for every little issue they have, and to the point I have little time to focus on what I must do. I realize at this point that it seems this way because I don’t structure my day in a way that works for me but actually waste a lot of time not using my time efficiently! I am allowing myself to stand at the brink of being “overwhelmed”, and “not giving a fuck.” Sometimes people want to have conversations that are just bullshit because that’s what we as humans do, we allow our egos to shit out the mouth. I will realize after hours have gone by that I was lost in my mind and its like I was sleeping even though I was doing lots of shit throughout the day. I have no internet on my phone and by my own decision as I will not allow myself to be engulfed with watching my phone every 2 seconds to see what has been said or what someone is doing right now! I do not get compensated much for all this responsibility that takes most of my time and I have allowed it to happen. The beach is a nice place to do self forgiveness and introspection as you watch the waves and walk on the wet sand etc. I am seeing more and more young tenants, mainly art students, with mental issues, unstable, drug usage, all because we have created a world where our thoughts, feelings, emotions, remove us from “HERE” suppressing who we are as life! The mind is wrecking havoc these days and as the mind sends us down a Fibonacci spiral to death, we give ourselves over to the mind to do what the mind does best… “DISTRACT us from reality!” If we are distracted, then we will not see ourselves as who we are, so we would take little or no responsibility for ourselves in this world to stop our minds that we emerge as who we are as life!
I have done wrong, and god is going to punish me… This often is the underlying fear of the morality game. Societies teach this to kids to instill fear and cause the kids to always have a conflict because the resonant desires, will not coincide with what is “morally right”… I grew up with the same teachings, though I do remember thinking as a young kid, “what if god doesn’t exist and all this shit I am being told is not real!” Somehow years later I jumped into religion head first, and was convinced that god had to be real. Looking at morals, I see that what is said to be right or wrong is based on rules someone created that was based in their self interest! They say it is wrong to have sex before marriage, but many people of the cloth have sex slaves and never get married. They say that if you are poor, you should be content and thank god for what you “DO” have, like health (my back hurts everyday), strength (get tired easily trying to make ends meet), life (what kind of life is this when all of my effort goes into having shelter and food)… They say give to god that there may be meat in the church (we don’t eat at church, but in our own house), and what does god need with money if he created everything money can buy? There is a problem with “MORALITY”, it serves only one side of humanity… The Elite! The elite have no morals but they make sure we do so we don’t question when shit doesn’t look right. Nothing changes because of morality because immorality always exist also. So MORALITY = POLARITY!
Someone said “give your life to god”… as soon as I get one I will consider it! Someone also said “pray every morning that god protects you”… they forgot that prayer doesn’t work everywhere, like Haiti, Africa, Middle-East, China, and a few other places! Someone also said a friend who just died… “is now in heaven with god”… At least on earth they didn’t have to see god and could walk around wherever they like… now that they are with the TOP BANANA, they have to be on their knees forever giving praise in front of a living mercury lamp that you can’t even look at directly???? Sounds like earth is a better place to be to sort out this shit we have created! Morality should be put in an oven and then turn on self clean!
I have learned a lot about this reality through Desteni and much about myself… now I am learning about the structure of the mind and how it works… I will try to enjoy this ride! Away with Moralitay!