This is not the renown book of HG Wells, nor any tv series. It is the Memory based Time Machine of the mind… I have found all energetic reactions within myself to be based on memories or maybe sub or unconscious memories. Our thoughts are based on memory so our future will mirror our past if the line is not drawn here! Being free of the mind to me is out of perspective because who I am now is created by the mind construct so it is impossible to get free of the mind, but creating a new self/me from within the mind which is based on the equality principle of what is best for all, that will eventually become equal to the mind and I could then shut it down because I built a new self not based on the mind, but the equality principle! So if I am being directed by memories of any kind, I am still in the mind! If I can remove the Ti (tie) from Me, then Time (Ti-Me) would become just Me!
My life was one of much inner conflict as my parents were old school and my father was militant and did not spare the rod! My mother was into church and it was a big part of life growing up! From being a born again christian at one point, as my depression got the best of me, I dedicated my life to doing the work of god! After that ended a few years later, I was back to not giving a shit about much, angry with the world, ready to fight at any time, I found myself in pure conflict! Being in the army in West Germany, (before wall opened) didn’t help! Belief in god, while feeling horrible inside. Parents now deceased, it is actually just me now and my wife of that time. Years later, I was introduced to spirituality, by a girlfriend (now my ex) and started the CWG books hoping to understand this world and myself. Purchased almost every book Walsch printed up to “Tomorrows God”, thought I had finally found the answers to everything and felt good about it! Then a friend gave my girlfriend a dvd called “The Secret”, and it was the original production first seen on Oprah. I thought it was an addition to all the revelations I received from the “Walsch Chronicles”, and I believed in the LOA to the extent that I bought dvds, made copies and gave them to friends… even left copies in the subway stations going to and from work throughout Manhattan NY because I thought it could actually change someones life! I talked about it at work and watched it myself about fifty times, but I had no proof because my life didn’t actually prove that the “Secret” worked… it was a dream that seemed real!
I always wondered why people starved in this world, and why people could wipe out a community, or drop bombs that destroy thousands of people and animals and even plant life! I wondered why we were poor all the time growing up even though we went to church and gave offerings etc. I wondered why some people were extremely rich and myself and others were poor and barely making ends meet!
To place all this in perspective, I experienced homelessness again in my life in 2007 after not being able to return to my job, so I left my ex in NY and went south. In the fall of 2007, I was in a library watching vids on Pleiadians, wayshowers, and different spiritual/ufo type vids. I saw a vid entitled “UFO’s Fake or Real”. There was this young girl on the video, but she breathed in, then out and said her name was Jack! I just listened to see what was said as I had heard just about any and everything about the unknown, so I thought! I am not sure how I was able to here the Desteni msg after listening to more and more vids from this young girl (Jack), but when the topic of god and demons etc. came up, I was all in! Then self responsibility, self forgiveness, and self honesty, was shared along with breath, and why sugar exists, and many topics. I never would have gotten a youtube acount but it was needed to participate with this group of people, mainly Andrea, Darryl, Sunette, and Bernard at that time but here was something different that I had not heard of before. “The physical is the key”, the mind is illusion. It made common sense even though religion teaches that the physical is not real but the spiritual world is more real! Brainwashing was also very real! There are many events that happened within all this but this is basically how it played out for me!
It doesn’t take long to find something in life that we fear, and that can range from animals, to insects, reptiles, microbes, natural disasters, and people. I have talked with so many people about fears and it is usually, microbes, natural disasters, and other things I listed, but I have realized a fear that is even more than these, and that is LOSS! The fear of losing something, whether it is power & control, or a lover, or money, etc. This fear is just the surface fear as the greatest fear that engulfs man is the loss of self, which is sealed at death. This “SELF” is not the actual physical self, but the “I AM” self, the accumulated self of self definition, or “PERSON-ality”. There is another fear that comes at a close second, which I realize within myself as the fear of facing “SELF” honestly! When I decide to face a point within myself honestly, I have to do something about it and be responsible about it because I can never ignore it anymore after that!
RESPONSIBILITY is shunned because it requires physical movement as we can’t take mental responsibility for anything in this world because what we have are physical issues that people experience everyday! Starvation can’t be remedied by thinking about stopping greed, and giving food etc., it requires physical movement! Imagining having food when your hungry only makes the hunger more intense, and this is all just real common sense, but common sense is less popular that the iPad! When a group of people express fear about something, it seems to gain momentum as more people tune in to it! Soon an entire community has fear of something that a few started! I see this as the perfect device of control and enslavement! I did hear Bernard say that before we become one and equal with the physical here, we will have the greatest experience of fear that we ever had, so lets get ready to face our fears together as one so we can end the atrocities that were born from fear!
I can say that sometimes I feel really good about something, it seems to resonate with me and I say to myself… this is bullshit, its just energy and it resonates because I shaped it. I sometimes feel bad and I say the same thing… I realize my feelings are not based on anything but resonant designs and I look in to what I feel to see if I can pin point where it is coming from within me. Usually it is memory and belief based, which means it is coming from my own inverted mind as now I am completely responsible for what I think, feel, and do. So I treat the “Good Feelings” the same or equally as the “Bad Ones” in order to minimize the energetic polarity that I have always lived within as without!
It seems as if everyday is just another lost home or business or personal belongings. There are many people who are joining the poor party regardless of degree, IRAs, dream home, etc. This economic status of the US shows us that the middle class is falling away and the chasm between the rich and poor is gaining size. Slab City California is just one example of those hit hard by this reality we call a depression/recession. Because money is the blood of the system, it has to be money that we use to change the system, before the blood clot, causes the fatal stroke. People say the love of money is the root of all evil… Maybe its the human that is the root of all evil because we created money… can the created be more than the creator? In Anu’s case… Yes, but within this system we are equal to our creations, so every being on earth who suffers because of the unequal money practices of the elite, has a story to tell… If the animals could write a book, what would be the title? My PARTicipation in this system is evident to me, though I am not clear exactly where I started, but the end is the same for everyone! When breath is the pinnacle of existence, then we can say that we have taken care of life as life itself! Until then… welcome to the darkside as we walk through the manifested consequences of our accepted and allowed way of living.